Baby in Burkina

It's been awhile, but I have an excuse.  An excuse that cries, eats - a lot, - sleeps on his own schedule and makes a lot of laundry; you guessed it, a baby!  It's hard to believe that Phinehas John is already a month old.  As for new experiences, his arrival has given ample opportunity for those.  Learning how to care for a baby is itself full of ups and downs, as all parents know.  But for me it is very challenging learning to care for a baby in alien surroundings and among a people who do things differently - both physically and emotionally - than what I learned while watching my own mother as I grew up in the United States.  

Unlike many foreigners who give birth abroad, I have an insider's view of Burkinabe methods of child raising, and I'm proud of that.  I have the opportunity to learn this way because my husband is Burkinabe and because of how we live. Also, my husband's mother came from Bobo Dioulasso the very evening of Phinee's birth, and was here for 11 days, so I got to know how she does things.  
What a relief it was to rest and leave the housework and errands to my husband and mother-in-law. Most of those weeks was wonderful - hearing them converse in Dioula (I like the sound of that language); watching and learning some more from a real African cook, housewife, and mother; having someone besides just the three of us during the tough moments.

There were also the challenges, ones that sometimes made me think, "hey, I'm the mom here, shouldn't I know best?" 

It is a grace of God that I didn't loose my temper during those first weeks.  I was able to keep my cool because I realized that babies all over the world are raised in many different ways, and most of them do, in fact, survive.  During the years of my own cerebral development, I looked on as my mother dealt with one-track minds that wanted to instruct her.  The thing is, there are many vastly different commentaries that all claim to be the only way to do something.  And I saw my mother take the best of many of them, mixing them with her own style.  Now that was within one culture.  Go across the ocean to a culture reluctant to accept change and get the commentaries of experienced women there... you can only imagine. 

My mind track: "Did you really just blow in his ears?!?"  "Seriously, do I have to eat all this millet porridge."  (Actually, it's good, it was just like a whole pot full to be consumed at once.)  "Yikes!!! aren't you hurting him with that nice, African-style massage?" (photo: one of those first massages/bath times) "You put that much powder on, really?   I thought it was best used sparingly.  Well, okay, that one makes sense because it's so hot here." "Right, it's so hot here; so why wrap him up?"

I held the baby as was comfortable and worked best for nursing him (and yes, my mother held me that way!) but apparently it wasn't okay with some older women who were watching. 

The worst thing was probably the medicines.  The baby was prescribed some medicine after he was circumcised.  Okay, yes, it's painful...  but then he also got a stomach ache, and they wanted to give him more medicine.  I was scared about that, because I thought babies should avoid medicine if possible.  And giving him sleep medicine?  Let's not.  And for myself: was I taking too long to heal up?  No, but apparently I still should take like three different things for itching, and another one for bleeding.  Since it seems like Burkinabe children are traditionally raised to be tough and strong in other ways, I am surprised that medicines are given quickly. 

So while there were the moments I wanted to yell "babies are raised differently elsewhere!!" I couldn't because, well... because babies are raised differently elsewhere.  And it was my time to learn the difference just in case I found something good - or necessary in this climate.

Now that my mother-in-law is gone, I miss her help (and her delicious fish soup!)  The Bible is right; there is a time for everything.  I challenge myself to enjoy (or at least tolerate) each thing as it comes.  As life continues, especially with a baby, I realize that those things come and pass on very quickly.